Of the volcano I walk on ending coals that may be met with a new enduring pain which is that of snow.
Blades of grass slipped through my toes and never was known the ignorant footing that steps and does not know how sweet and free is the grassy knoll.
A wanderlust living breathes into the soul what the illusions of wandering above with no footing withholds. But only if felt and observed with the same gentle caress of which that grows finds equal and mutually respects.
A ghost who has a voice living in her head that confirms her lost identity and ghostly life lived, and then the ghost talks of a memory involving a church where she walked along his arms, where she sat in the day and was not there even though she sat on a pew.
I hope these words reach you in whatever capacity you live on in, Grandpa. You were always a funny, eccentric presence and the gags you performed hilarous even when Nanny thought they were ridiculous. Playing golf with you was always relaxing and a great way to learn about my heritage. Even though life prevented us from being very close, i wish i could have told you that the times I did experience with you left an impression that will be dearly missed and one i had hoped to connect with more in the future. In peace I hope you reside and I will do my best to pass on the goofy grandpa indosyncracies you possessed and pulled of so charismatically. Sincerely, Torrance, your grandson.
Missing company, lonely night, invoke desperate mind. You are a trap. Should be disassembled. No one can. Can’t connect fully, disconnected. Detached from the source of the world. Can’t be hurt, no energy moves through. A place where this kind meets. Deep inside. Accessed by carved out eyes, world blind.
I have come to the conclusion that I currently don’t deserve a partner in my life. I just can’t offer strong things to anyone and I’m tired of hurting others because of my lacking. I feel very sorry for those who have dealt with this. My soul will be better one day.